Massively Effective

Mass Effect is a nifty little sci-fi game game for the X-box 360. It's pretty slick, and has a charming b-movie quality in it's presentation. On the surface it's your Halo/Bruckheimer/Rah-rah America video game. Shoot guns, save the day and/or damsel and ride off into the sunset. Our protagonist is Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre (this universe's Jedi, or 00 agent), on a quest to bring in a rogue Spectre and stop his evil robot army. Pretty much standard fair, am I right? Bioware, creators of Mass Effect, laid their trap well.

Clever Canadian Bastards

Running alongside the skin-tight space suits and explosions is a thoughtful, meaningful story, wrought with difficult moral decisions and deep philosophical problems. Questions about the meaning and origins of life, and the future of humanity in terms of technological progression as well as spiritual meaning all offered to the player in the guise of a video game. Imagine that.

She has her Doctorate in Archeology, or something.

There's also an option in the game to customize Commander Shepard. Don't care for the Shepard Bioware made? No problem, go make one in the character creator. You can even be female Shepard. This was surprising, because Bioware really sold the male Shepard they made, putting his face on everything. The reason this is interesting is that the female character is better. A lot better.

Look at his stupid face.

For starters, Jennifer Hale as Commander Shepard delivers a stronger performance. I have a hard time playing the game as male Shepard because of the difference in quality. The voice of male Shepard (Mark Meer) sounds to me like a guy in a sound booth delivering lines. They fit the story and we get the point but for the most part there's no feeling, because these lines work too well for a man. Jennifer Hale got that and chewed the scenery. These lines were written for a male character to say, and very little was changed for the female character. What we end up with is a tough, smart, empowered female character saving the galaxy. She gives impassioned speeches and boldly leads her crew to victory and it's fucking sweet.

FemShep fits the story better, and I think the paragon/renegade dynamic of the game presents the best way to describe this. In every conversation in Mass Effect Shepard can choose from three responses: Paragon, Neutral, and Renegade. These choices give points to Paragon and Renegade meters that determine the outcome of the game. Male Shep's responses for paragon choices often feel dopey and cheesy, while his renegade responses feel ignorant and campy. These are fine if you really go for the Orlando Bloom paragon or the Bruce Campbell renegade. Jennifer Hale on the other hand delivers Paragon lines like a compassionate bad-ass, and Renegade lines like Kali. The weight she gives the character does as much for the game as anything else. The writing is superb, the plot is engrossing, and the characters are three-dimensional (you genuinely care for them by the end) but none of that means anything if the protagonist is (like male Shepard)  just a carbon copy from every shallow male hero ever. If I had to guess, Mark Meer saw the surface game, while Jennifer Hale got into the story. And completely by accident a classic feminist hero was born.

Pictured: A Hero

Dreams

To quote my high schools lame motto, "Dreams are the seedlings of reality." I don't think that means anything, other than being exactly what a high school would tell you. I'm sure they refer to dreams in the context of "What do I want to be when I grow up." rather than "I had a dream that I was trapped in a building Die Hard style." Those dreams are far more interesting, and would make much better reality seeds. Here are some things you probably didn't know about dreams.

Dream seeds need way more manure to grow.  

1. Sleep position matters.

There are some people who have to be careful about where they lay their head. Laying on one's back can cause Sleep Paralysis for some. There are a lot of different explanations as to what Sleep Paralysis is, so I'll simply describe what it feels like, since I experience it a lot.

If I sleep on my back, I would say there is a 70% chance I will wake up and be unable to move. This is more than lucid, it's hyper realistic. I wake up, and while I can see and everything is as it should be, I cannot move. My entire body feels like stone, and breathing is difficult. The first time it happened I was 16 and it was horrifying. You can struggle all you like, but that just lengthens the amount of time you spend frozen. The trick is to realize what's going on. If you find yourself in that predicament, relax. Tell yourself it's a dream, and go back to sleep. In moments you'll wake up in your bed and thrash around, happy to be moving. 

Preventative steps include reducing stress and sleeping in the fetal position or on your stomach.

Warning: Sometimes these episodes are accompanied by visual and auditory hallucinations involving but not limited to home invasions, screaming, alien abductions, demon encounters. 

2. You can get out.

While sleep paralysis can be terrifying, here's something your doctor won't tell you about if you bring it up: You can walk out of your body when it happens. There a lot of tricks to doing this, and they all focus on one thing. Forget your physical self. Your mind is fully awake, but your body isn't. The brain naturally shuts the body off from the brain when sleeping, to stop you from kicking your partner when you go to kick the winning field goal at the super bowl. Now your brain is awake, but your body won't respond. (whether or not this is actually the case is irrelevant, as it's how you'll experience it.) Now that you've mastered waking up from this realm, it's time to master exploring it. 

When I wake up and find my body unresponsive now, I get excited at my prospects. Sometimes excitement will wake you out of it so try to stay fairly calm. Look around you. anyone there? Let's hope not, because sometimes there's what we call "The Dweller on the Doorstep." a shadowy figure that will try to stop your exit. You have to kill him. It's usually a persons first test here. It's actually you, and everything you hate about yourself. So depending on your vices and how much you feed them, it could be strong or weak. It wants to stop your progress, because more often than not visiting this place leads to deep revelations about yourself and the reality of why you do what you do. Tread carefully.

If your lucky enough to be alone, it's time to use your imagination. Rather than trying to move your body, imagine your body moving. Imagine sitting up. You will, but you'll probably hear a weird ripping, shredding, popping or even screaming sound as you do. Don't worry, your safe. Look at your hands. This is a good way to get some clarity and focus, both of which will have faded some since you sat up. Anytime you feel like you can't see, just look at your body and that usually helps.

Once you're up and about, the world is your oyster. You can do whatever you like here. However, negative acts will bring negative consequences, like in the physical world only quicker. I like to think of this world as my subconscious, but also inhabited by separate beings, some just observing, some hindering or helping. Your experience will tell you what this place is. I think it's as much the real world as the waking world, as in everything we perceive and experience is simply a creation of our minds reading outside stimuli. But here, thoughts have physical forms.

Congratulations, you're Astral Projecting!

Avoid sex here. It's... weird. 

3. Reality Check.

Reality checks are a tool used by people looking for lucid dreams. Lucid dreams are different than Astral Projection, in that one is already in a dream and realizes they're dreaming and the world becomes clearer, and they gain control of their actions. I've only lucid dreamed once, and it was fine, but not as real as astral projection somehow. I think there are layers to the whole thing, and lucid dreams are just on the cusp of astral projection.

A reality check is something you do during your waking hours. Look at a book cover, read the title, look away for five Mississippi's then look back. Is the title the same? You're awake. Boring. Doing this throughout the day however will make it habit and one day you'll look back and the title will be gibberish. Why? Because you're dreaming and dreams hate the written word.  

4. People who play video games are better at it.

Recently a study was released that indicates that those who play video games are more likely to have lucid dreams, or dreams in which they are fully aware and in control of their actions. It seems the control of a virtual world is excellent practice for the dream world. They are also more likely to experience dreams in third person,  they see themselves rather than looking out of their own eyes. 

The study also showed that while gamers are more likely to have violent dreams or nightmares, they are far more likely to fight back against their dream aggressors. In other words, when a normal person gets chased by a ghoul, they just run away, and it is truly terrifying. When a gamer encounters the ghoul, they pull out the flame thrower and let loose. 

So really, playing video games is really good for your self-esteem, if nothing else. Who knows what dreams are, maybe we're training an entire generation of spiritual warriors. 

Worst dream ever!